Queequeg: A cozy weekend at a BnB, followed by a cruise. Makes everyone else look bad.
Fitzwilliam Darcy: A vacuum, which he promptly and secretly exchanges for a library of signed first editions of every book you never told him you loved.
Maxim de Winter: A terrible secret that will bind you to him forever. (Someday, he'll get you that new housekeeper you wanted.)
Zeus : Sunblock for Semele. A bale of hay for Io. A totally planned white cow for Hera.
"Mister" Albert : A wild "how we met" story for you and your new wife.
Any Murakami Protagonist: Would have given you a jazz record, but you're not around?